On Stage joined Kelli Phillips to talk about short hair styles on Live at Five. Watch the entire segment here!

We hear a lot  about juggling family and career. How do you have time to do both without slighting one or the other? This weekend I was faced with a family versus career dilemma of a different kind.

(This blog post was previously posted on KFDM.com – Click now to read viewer comments)

By now, you’ve probably heard about several West Brook high school students being assaulted and even robbed after the West Brook versus Port Arthur Memorial football game. One of the kids attacked was my oldest son. I won’t rehash the details here because that’s not what’s important in this setting.

When I first learned that my first born and a group of his friends were attacked after the game, my motherly instincts kicked into high gear. I learned that my son was going to be okay…at least physically, but one or more of his friends were being treated in an ambulance. Item number one handled. I then went through the list…get in your car and go home, no, someone will come pick you up, no, get with a police officer and stay there…all the things that go through a mother’s head when the safety and security of her children is at stake.

By the wee hours of the morning, secure in the knowledge that everyone and everything was okay, I turned off my phone and went to bed. When I turned on my phone the next morning, it sounded like a car alarm going off. Dozens of messages from people wanting to know the details of what happened the night before at the game. This whole thing had blown up on Facebook and everywhere else it seemed. Some of those messages were from people at my own television station who were anxious to report the incident on the news. Immediately the hair on the back of my neck stood up as I thought,”no one is going to exploit my child for the sake of a news story!”. This, I thought, could keep this thing ‘top of mind’ and possibly put my son and his friends at further risk.  Not gonna happen.

It only took a few moments for me to realize how many times I had been placing that call to a mom or dad hoping to get information to share with our viewers.  I thought of how many times I’ve said, “if you won’t tell what actually happened how is anyone supposed to know the truth and how are things going to change.”

Scott Lawrence, our executive producer at KFDM is the consummate journalist. He believes in reporting because:  1. The public has the right to know. And 2. The truth is of utmost importance. After talking with Scott for 5 maybe 4 seconds I knew once again he is right in his beliefs even when my child is involved in the story.

As it turns out more people than I first realized were attacked and Port Arthur police had even made arrests. Some of the kids were injured far worse than my own son. This was indeed a legitimate news story. I guess we will have to wait and see what the end result will be, but two things I know for sure:  1. My motherly instincts kick in more quickly than my professional instincts – and I’m happy about that! And 2. My journalistic instincts are strong enough for me to know that what I’ve chosen to do for a living is every bit as important as I thought it would be.

Before moving to Southeast Texas I used to come here often for a job I had.

At that time, I was under the impression that the city of Beaumont only went  from Walden Road to the 11th Street exit at the I-10 turn.  I hardly knew a soul here, but I found a friendly face on my hotel television.

Little did I know then that that friendly face would one day be my boss, Larry Beaulieu.

By now you’ve probably heard that Larry has retired and you’ve probably heard about all of Larry’s accomplishments in life. Distinguished alumnus at both Lamar and Texas Tech Universities, member of the elite EMMY Silver Circle group, Chairman of the Texas Association of Broadcasters, TAB Pioneer Broadcaster  of the Year, volunteer for more organizations than anyone can name and the list goes on and on and on.

After working for him for almost ten years, it is not the long list of accomplishments that comes to my mind when I think of Larry,  but the genuine care and concern he has for people that makes him a prince among men.

Television is a serious business and managing people who are attracted to this business can be a lesser man’s nightmare, but it was all in a day’s work for Larry.  The easiest thing for a manager to do is to focus only on the bottom line and ignore the wants and needs of the individual employees.  Somehow Larry managed to take care of both.  I can’t imagine what it must be like having “corporate” beat on one door screaming “more profit, less spending” while dozens of employees are beating on the other door yelling, “more money, more time off, me, me, me!”  Larry always seemed to find a way to make it work for both sides.

As we at KFDM report to work on Monday morning knowing it is the first day in 37 years that Larry has not been holding down the fort, and as our viewers tune into the 6PM news knowing It is the first time in decades that Larry won’t be a fixture on that program, I only hope the strong foundation Larry Beaulieu is leaving for all of us will continue to get us through the day to day.

After all, it’s a man’s legacy that is most important in life…and Larry leaves a great one here at KFDM.

A couple of interesting facts caught my eye this week and they both drove home the point that our world is changing.

The first was in a newspaper story about Governor Rick Perry’s bid to become our nation’s president.  The article said he plans to run a “modern, non-traditional” campaign and will spread his message through social media while completely abandoning traditional “stumping” methods like yard signs.  (A sidebar here:  even the word “stumping” is a sign of how communications has changed its origin is in the fact that early day politicians used to spread their message while standing on a tree stump!)

The second fact that caught my eye was that Bill Clinton sent only two emails as president.  Two emails?  Really?  That surprises me since he was in office from ’92 when the internet was really starting to catch on all the way to 2000 when it had thoroughly infiltrated our lives.

While pondering the meaning of both ends of that spectrum, it occurred to me that I’ve raised two kids that don’t know anything about a world without internet!  These are kids that think the definition of “emergency” is when their cell phones aren’t working and they can’t text their friends.  Oh, no!  Why that’s almost as bad as not being able to post what time you got out of bed on Facebook!

Yes, the way we communicate with one another has completely changed.  I think there’s both good and bad in that.  It seems to me that face to face conversation may be going the way of the hand written letter. Call me old fashioned, but a “thank you” note just doesn’t have the same meaning when it’s emailed.  And true romance seems to have died out since the days when George and Barbara Bush wrote all those great letters to one another (not to mention John and Abigail Adams)!

Still, I have to admit the internet has made our world a much smaller place and social media may be at least partly responsible for righting a lot of wrongs.  Even as I write these words, people in Libya are attempting to take back their country from the hands of a long time despot, a revolution fueled by instant messaging, text messaging and Facebook.

Throughout our history, anyone attempting to control people has known to first shut down the way they communicate.  Nationalize the media.  Make books that disagree with you illegal.  Make the people afraid to voice their opinions!  But our new ways of communicating have had just the opposite affect and allowed the people’s voices to be heard loud and clear.  It’s hard to be a successful dictator when the whole world scrutinizes your every move.

Then, there is the question of reliability on the internet.  If everyone now has a “voice” and that voice is guaranteed in our Bill of Rights, who can you trust?  Blogs (like this one) are really no more than a person’s opinion.  On the internet, we can all be 6 foot 6, 250 pound former Dallas Cowboys linebackers who went on to become brain surgeons after a great football career!  The point is that it doesn’t have to be true to be on the internet.   Again, who do you trust?

In the end, I think this new world of communications will evolve the same way previous methods evolved.  We will all grow tired of the people who just want an audience (and will say ANYTHING to get it) and we will learn to rely on trusted sources, the same way we depended on people like Walter Cronkite in the earlier days of television (and, here at home, our own “Uncle Larry” Beaulieu).  We will come to know over time that some sources on the internet have credibility while others have none.

You may get tired of hearing us say over and over again “for more information, just go to our website at KFDM dot com,” but we’re just being realistic.  We who work in television are growing to accept and embrace the fact that we are no longer “TV people,” and that our job is to keep our viewers, readers, listeners, Facebook friends and anyone else out there informed with the truth – or as close to it as we can come.

“When you’re down on your luck

And you ain’t got a buck

In London, you’re a goner…”

From “London Homesick Blues”

By Gary P. Nunn

And even if you have lots of bucks in your pocket, some things just can’t be had in Jolly Old England.

It was a trip to the United Kingdom that we had anticipated for months; a journey to a foreign land where the locals speak the same language we speak – well,  sort of. On my first trip to London. I planned to see in person all the things I’ve heard and read about my whole life…Buckingham Palace, The Crown Jewels, Shakespeare’s Globe Theater, and a stage performance in a West End theater.

“You’ll love it!” Bob said. He had been many times before on business. “It’s different but you still have all the comforts of home.”

Not true. Not ALL the comforts of home. I could handle the electrical plugs – a simple converter fixed that. And since I wasn’t driving a car I didn’t really care that they drove on the opposite side of the road, though I did learn quickly to pay close attention before crossing a street to avoid being flattened by a London taxi or a double decker bus. What I wasn’t prepared for was the British idea of “tea.”

As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I’m addicted to tea. When everybody else is scrambling for that first cup of coffee in the morning, I drink a glass of tea.

When lots of others are enjoying a cocktail in the evening, I enjoy a glass of tea.

In fact, when Bob and I first met and I discovered his tea habits were identical to my own, that sealed the deal – it was love at first sip!

We landed at Heathrow when the captain announced the temperature would hit 30 degrees.

“Oh my gosh – I only brought summer clothes,” I said.

“That’s 30 degrees Celsius – it’s gonna be a scorcher,” Bob explained. “Lots of places don’t even have air conditioning here.”

And so it was; somehow the equivalent to the low nineties in Southeast Texas felt like 110 degrees in London. As we walked about and saw the sites, I thought  more and more about my tea. We popped into “The Rat and Parrot” pub and ordered iced tea. The bartender looked at us as though we had three heads each.

“How about a pint of Guiness?” he asked.

I looked at Bob and said all I really want is a glass of iced tea.

“It’s a pub,” the bartender said, “we don’t serve iced tea.”

We slipped out the side door.

As we trudged down the street all I could think about was iced tea. Then I spied a Starbucks. Those of us who aren’t coffee drinkers know that Starbucks serves really good iced black tea – except, of course, in the U.K…same story at McDonalds, Subway, and Burger King. At Pizza Hut, we got really excited when we saw a pot of tea on the menu. We knew, at that point, we could make our own iced tea by simply asking for two glasses of ice.

“Oh, sorry, the ice machine has been broken for quite a while,” the waiter told us.

“How long of a while?” I asked, not believing they could survive without it.

“I don’t know – we really don’t use much ice here,” he explained.

Our trip to the U.K. turned into a never ending quest for iced tea with visits to the local attractions in between. We tried bottled tea, flavored tea and even went to a place called “Costa” that advertised iced tea only to discover that “iced tea” is NOT a universal phrase. It was some sort of…well, I really don’t know what it was.

I was just about to give up when Bob got a silly grin on his face and started walking faster and faster.

“Come on – I know where to go,” he said. Just to the side of Trafalger Square we turned a corner onto Cockspur Street and there was one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen – the Texas star with the words “Texas Embassy” above and below.

“This place was started by a friend in Dallas named Gene Street,” he said. “The same guy that started the “Black Eyed Pea” chain and “Good Eats” and lots of other great Texas restaurants. I can’t believe I’m just now remembering.”

Inside was the familiar look of any stateside Tex-Mex restaurant. Before the waitress had made it all the way to the table I yelled, “Do you have iced tea
here?” I must have looked and sounded like someone who had just crawled across the Mojave Desert.

She smiled knowingly and said, “You look thirsty. I’ll bring a pitcher with lots of ice!”

Home, sweet home.

Click on the video to watch OnStage talk about a popular summer hair style, braiding.

“If you’ll be my soft and sweet

I’ll be your strong and steady…

…You’ll be my sunny day

I’ll be your shade tree

You’ll be my honeysuckle

I’ll be your honey bee”

The words are sung in a less than harmonic tune from the backseat of our rented minivan.

The singers: four Southeast Texas teens, traveling with us to Myrtle Beach for a week long vacation. This year, in addition to taking our two kids on a family trip, we let each one invite a friend.

It didn’t take long to figure out all four young men had many similarities that would prove to make the week a fun experience for all!

For example, dining out was much more than just about eating a meal. Sometimes it was ordering in a dialect while other times it was about quizzing the knowledge of the wait staff, often about obscure things.

In one Italian restaurant, the waiter spent so much time joking with the kids that management asked if we were family.

The waiter told them yes and the boys had their picture taken with him next to the Roman fountain. For the rest of the trip, references were made about “Spence”, the waiter, as if he was an old friend.

Then there was the night we took them all out for dessert.

Bob and I were interested in the cold ice cream; the kids, however, were more interested in the ‘hot’ girl serving the ice cream.

We ate our ice cream in the car while they sat inside the ice cream shop and got up enough courage to talk to her.

The result, another vacation photograph, another moment preserved.

On the last two nights, we attended minor league baseball games.

The Myrtle Beach Pelicans are a high-A farm team for the Texas Rangers. The kids sat behind the visiting team’s dugout so they could cheer on a player from Louisiana even though they were wearing hats and shirts with the home team Pelicans’ logo.

The player struck out five times in just two nights, but that didn’t stop our kids from yelling their support.

“He went to LSU – he’s a neighbor!” they said.

Another moment. Another picture.

To us, a vacation isn’t all about where you go or even what you do.

It’s all about spending time together and making memories that can be shared for a lifetime.

Recently we attended an awards ceremony for the child of a friend playing t-ball.

As we sat there, I came to realize EVERY child was recognized and givin a trophy for simply completing the season.  In my mind, I couldn’t understand why they were merely being awarded for starting something and finishing it.

Isn’t that the way it is supposed to work?

Last year, Bill Gates delivered a high school speech, explaining some things that students did not learn in school.  He talked about how “feel good politically correct teaching” has created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world.  While some schools may have done away with winners and losers, life has not.

For example some classes abolished failing grades giving students as many times as they want to get the right answer, but that doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to reality.  By trying to run our schools and activities counter to what they will find once they are in the real world, I think we are doing a disservice to our children…and even to our nation.  Those who fought in World War II were members of what’s been called “The Greatest Generation” because they had a can-do spirit and a work ethic that produced true winners.

What are we creating today? Why should today’s kids work hard to achieve anything if they’re just going to get it anyway?

There may be some who disagree, believing there is no harm in giving everyone a trophy.  But if everyone makes an “A”, what is the value of an “A”?  In an effort to make sure everyone is equal and everything as fair – no one is special, thus, there is no incentive to do any better than just “okay.”

Some argue the blanket award system helps develop self esteem.  In essence, though, aren’t we sending a message that self esteem is more important than hard work and achievement?  Wouldn’t a sense of true accomplishment build true self esteem? We need to challenge our kids to excel and reward them when they do, but also let them know that, regardless of winning or losing, we still love them.

Our kids need to be able to take criticism and handle setbacks.  They need to see that people who work hard and achieve will be rewarded more than those who don’t.

I think unconditional love trumps false self esteem any day of the week.

What do you think?

Click here to watch the Live at Five segment talking about using a scarf for a little extra style.

If you’d like to learn more information from Donna Lee you can contact her via email at roomartistry@aol.com!